So far, I’ve published eighteen chapters of His Silent Music on Wattpad.
I want to write a little bit about the differences I’m seeing between working on this novel and my previous novel (which I only let one person see before I was completely done).
First and foremost, I started writing His Silent Music as a book for fun and growth. I wanted to dabble in fantasy before jumping into it with no experience. His Silent Music is me dabbling! Writing something for fun and for practice, knowing at the very start that I never really wanted this to be something that I agonized over writing and perfecting, has been so freeing. There were points in The Strain of Rebellion where I felt completely hopeless, like I didn’t want to finish purely based on the fact that it would never be perfect. But writing His Silent Music without worrying about it being perfect has taught me more than my first novel ever did. It’s given me the experience of writing something that I absolutely love. The romance story feels more natural. I don’t worry about whether it has overdone tropes (because Wattpad is just a giant trope monster). I just write and love it because I’ve written it for my own enjoyment.
Secondly, if I enjoy writing it, I thought that maybe someone would enjoy reading it. I’ve had this sick fascination with Wattpad since I was younger: people read what you write! How cool is it that some teenager could write a #1 internet hit – a worldwide sensation? No, I doubt that His Silent Music will ever reach anywhere near that point. In fact, if I continue getting just 1 view per chapter posted, I’ll feel pretty good about it. (Yes, I’ve lowered my expectations greatly for this novel!) I just want to share my writing without the pressure of searching for a publishing house or self-publishing. What I want it a money-free, no-strings-or-terrors-attached experience, which is just what I’m getting by writing on Wattpad.
Thirdly, I feel accountable in a way that I never had with my previous novel. This time, I’m not just writing for me. If I disappoint myself (as I had countless times with The Strain of Rebellion by leaving the word document untouched for a month at a time), then I’m filled with self-loathing and resentment and fear and depression… As horrible as that all sounds, though, so what? Those only affect me. When I’m publishing online, I feel bad if I miss a deadline or don’t publish for 7 days. I want to get the story out there for people in a timely fashion, which means writing it in a timely fashion. Working on this novel and publishing it on Wattpad has made me a more disciplined writer. I make the time to write because I want to publish it. I haven’t hit writing block in this story yet (fingers crossed!), which is amazing. Really, by this time in the last book, I’d already taken the 8 month hiatus that made me feel more like a mouse than a writer. But Wattpad has trained me in a way that I couldn’t train myself to become better about reaching my goals.
Lastly, I just love it. This is something that I started doing for myself because I wanted to, but I love everything about this experience thus far. I’ve gotten a couple constructive comments from lovely readers, and I’m expecting the hate to flow in any day now! Sadly, I’m not really kidding about that. But the beautiful thing is that when I receive negative comments on this, I know they’re coming. This isn’t that amazing of a book – I know that. I love it because this is the book that I’ve been wanting to read but that had never been written. I’m not trying to force myself to be the best on this and come up with something unique. Nope, instead, I’m focusing on just loving the experience, which will eventually include bad aspects (I’m hoping, which may sound a bit masochistic). But this is my learning experience – an introduction into the world of writing. Even though His Silent Music is the younger of my two books, The Strain of Rebellion feels more like the baby in need of protection. So I’ve sent His Silent Music out into the world to see what it’s like: test the waters and come back with a thorough report to ready The Strain of Rebellion for what’s out there.
Maybe that’s silly, but that’s how I imagine my books.